What Is Social Anxiety Disorder? Signs, Causes, and How to Get Help
Most people feel nervous from time to time in social settings. You might get butterflies before giving a presentation, worry about saying the wrong thing on a first date, or feel unsure of what to do at a large gathering. These experiences are common—and in many cases, short-lived. But for some, the anxiety surrounding social situations becomes overwhelming and persistent, interfering with their ability to function and enjoy life. This is when it may be more than just nervousness. It may be social anxiety disorder.
Social anxiety disorders is one of the most common anxiety disorders, affecting approximately 1 in 9 adults in the U.S. at some point in their lives. Yet despite how common it is, many people go years without seeking help—often because they believe their anxiety is just part of their personality, or because they don’t recognize the signs.
In this article, we’ll explore what social anxiety disorder is, what causes it, what symptoms to look for, and how therapy can help you feel more confident and connected.
If you’re looking for support, you can learn more about therapy for anxiety here.
Many people with social anxiety avoid social situations even when they want connection.
What Is Social Anxiety Disorder?
Social anxiety disorder is a mental health condition characterized by a strong and persistent fear of social or performance-related situations. People with social anxiety are often afraid of being judged, embarrassed, rejected, or viewed negatively by others. The anxiety goes beyond the typical discomfort that most people feel in new or uncertain situations—it causes significant distress and leads to avoidance.
This is more than just being shy. While shyness is a personality trait that may lead someone to prefer smaller groups or quiet environments, it doesn’t necessarily cause suffering or prevent someone from participating in life. Social anxiety disorder, on the other hand, often leads people to turn down invitations, avoid eye contact, rehearse or overthink conversations, and isolate themselves even when they crave connection.
Over time, this pattern can interfere with work, relationships, academic performance, and self-esteem.
Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety
Social anxiety can show up in both obvious and subtle ways. Some people may avoid public speaking or large group settings altogether, while others might be very high-functioning externally but feel intense anxiety internally during everyday social interactions.
Here are some common signs:
Avoiding social events, group settings, or situations where one might be the center of attention
Using phones or devices to appear busy in social situations and avoid interaction
Feeling intense dread before social events and worrying for days or weeks in advance
Experiencing physical symptoms such as nausea, racing heart, sweating, or shaking before or during social situations
Having your mind go blank during a conversation, making it difficult to speak or respond
Feeling extremely self-conscious, as if you're constantly being watched or judged
Replaying social interactions in your mind afterward and obsessing over perceived mistakes
Struggling to accept compliments or positive attention
Relying on alcohol to feel more relaxed or sociable
Consistently asking questions to keep the focus on others to avoid sharing about yourself
Believing that you must speak or behave “perfectly” in every interaction
These symptoms often persist for six months or more and can significantly reduce quality of life.
What Causes Social Anxiety Disorder?
The causes of social anxiety disorder are complex and usually involve a mix of genetic, biological, psychological, and environmental factors.
Some people with social anxiety report early experiences of bullying, harsh criticism, rejection, or embarrassment that shaped their fears of social judgment. For example, being laughed at while speaking in class or having a caregiver who was highly critical or emotionally unavailable can lead to beliefs like, “If I say the wrong thing, I’ll be humiliated,” or “People will reject me if I’m not perfect.”
Parenting style can play a role as well. Overcontrolling or overprotective parenting may limit a child’s ability to build social confidence. Children who don’t have opportunities to take risks or learn to recover from social mistakes may grow up more anxious in the face of uncertainty.
However, not everyone with social anxiety has a history of trauma or difficult childhood experiences. Many people with social anxiety grew up in supportive homes and were not bullied. That’s because temperament and biology are also significant factors.
Some individuals are born with a more sensitive nervous system or a temperament known as behavioral inhibition. These are the children who are slow to warm up, cautious in new settings, and highly attuned to social cues. For these individuals, even typical social situations can feel overwhelming. There is also evidence of a genetic predisposition—social anxiety can run in families.
Ultimately, social anxiety is usually the result of a combination of factors rather than a single cause. And regardless of how or when it began, it is treatable.
How to Build Confidence in Social Situations
One of the biggest misconceptions about confidence is that it’s something you either have or you don’t. In reality, confidence is built through practice—especially by learning to tolerate and move through uncomfortable moments.
The first step is recognizing that everyone feels awkward at times. The difference is that individuals with social anxiety tend to interpret awkwardness as proof that they are flawed or unlikable. Reframing that internal narrative is key. Instead of thinking, “I’m so awkward,” try telling yourself, “A part of me feels anxious right now—and that’s okay.”
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) offers practical tools to challenge unhelpful thoughts and behaviors. One helpful exercise involves writing down your feared outcomes before a social event (e.g., “They’ll think I’m boring”) and comparing them afterward to what actually happened. Often, the feared scenario doesn’t come true—and this process helps retrain your brain to think more flexibly and realistically.
Another CBT-based technique is gradual exposure, which means intentionally practicing the things that feel difficult. This could be making eye contact, initiating a conversation, or attending a small social event without using your phone or alcohol as a crutch. The goal isn’t to eliminate all anxiety—it’s to learn that you can feel anxious and still take meaningful action.
It’s also important to shift your focus outward. Social anxiety pulls your attention inward—you’re constantly monitoring how you look, sound, and come across. Practicing presence—focusing on the person you’re talking to or your shared environment—can ease this mental burden.
Most importantly, give yourself permission to be imperfect. Social interactions are not performances. They are opportunities for connection, and they don’t need to be flawless to be meaningful.
How Therapy Can Help with Social Anxiety
If social anxiety is interfering with your life, therapy can help. A licensed psychologist trained in CBT can guide you through the process of identifying anxious thought patterns, experimenting with new behaviors, and building confidence step by step.
CBT for social anxiety often includes structured exercises to:
Identify and challenge cognitive distortions (like “everyone is judging me”)
Practice exposure to feared situations in a safe, supportive way
Learn mindfulness and grounding strategies to manage physical symptoms
Build self-compassion and emotional resilience
Group therapy is another powerful option for those with social anxiety. Practicing social skills in a small, supportive group can be really helpful—especially for people who feel alone in their struggle.
The good news is that social anxiety is highly treatable. With consistent support and a willingness to face discomfort gradually, most people experience significant improvement.
Final Thoughts
If you recognize yourself in the experiences described here, know that you’re not alone. Social anxiety is incredibly common—but also very misunderstood. Whether your anxiety comes from early life experiences, your temperament, or no clear cause at all, help is available.
Dr. Charissa Chamorro has been featured as an expert on social anxiety in respected media outlets including HuffPost and the Mount Sinai Health System, where she has shared insights on the everyday signs of social anxiety and how evidence-based treatment can help. Her work emphasizes both compassion and practical tools for change.
If social anxiety is holding you back, therapy can help you take that next step forward—toward greater self-confidence and connection.
Contact Dr. Charissa Chamorro today to schedule a consultation or learn more about how therapy can help.
